How to Develop Your Life Purpose Statement
Excerpted from the book on conscious entrepreneurship and business management, Business Black Belt
“It’s easier to make money doing something you like, than figuring out how to like something you do for money.”
~ unknown
Sooner or later you’ll get up the nerve to pursue your true calling.
And let go of what pulls you into whatever rut you got stuck in.
(I let go of my get-rich-quick addiction.)
I assert that deep inside we really do know what we want to do in life.
Unfortunately, we’re often too scared to go and do exactly that.
Perhaps it’s too far to go from wherever we are. What would people say?
There are too many hurdles in the way to get there.
The reigning star in that business or sport (or whatever) is just too good and too far ahead for us to compete with them.
Bullshit.
For years I was in sales. I hated sales. I hated being a salesman.
I could cover it up by saying I was a “marketing representative,” but still people saw me coming.
I was definitely a salesman. And since I didn’t like what I did, I held back much of my energy from it.
You can’t really give a job everything you’ve got when its very nature embarrasses you.
Consequently, I wasn’t really good at sales. But that was OK.
You see, I was really a marketing person at heart.
I wanted to write advertisements, design brochures, and mail literature to customers.
I would still be selling but allowing the customers to make up their own minds in private with no pressure.
Besides, I could reach many more people that way.
It was OK that I wasn’t a successful salesman because that really wasn’t my thing!
It was deceptively close to applying my real talents, but failure didn’t hurt my feelings.
My real talents weren’t under the spotlight and at risk of criticism.
What if I failed at the very thing I thought was my true calling, in my case, marketing?
This fear kept me from pursuing what I really wanted to do.
We must maintain our escape route(?)
I kept finding sales jobs because I (unconsciously) needed to have an out just in case.
I knew I would quit because sales wasn’t the marketing job I really wanted.
It’s like driving down the street and not consciously acknowledging the “Not a Through Street” sign,
hoping that maybe we’ll get through anyway, somehow.
But when we don’t, we can say it really wasn’t going to work out anyway.
If you do this, take a moment to sort out the truth in the privacy of your own mind.
It’s time to get into something that really excites you or change your job responsibilities and hire someone else to do what you’re doing now.
Learn from your mistakes?
I suspect that few if anyone ever told you that you learn from your successes.
So, consequently, you could do 100 things in a day and have 99 of them go right.
And, what do you focus on? The one thing that went wrong.
You hash out in your mind what could have been done to make that one thing better.
How could you have not made that one mistake? How could you improve yourself?
You almost completely ignore the 99 things that went right.
Direct marketing people take the exact opposite approach.
In fact, they make a science of understanding what it is that is successful.
All the testing used by direct marketers is to see what works.
Which advertisements pulled the best, which mailing list pulled the best,
which headline made the most people click, which offer did people buy the most?
Yet in our personal lives, we’re often looking at the weak areas that need work and we overlook our strengths.
In martial arts, you learn to focus on what you have the capability to do, not things you don’t.
For example, if you have long legs, you might emphasize kicking.
If you have short legs, you don’t emphasize jump kicking just because you think you should.
You want to emphasize an attribute you have that gives you a strength you can win with.
Our path of learning looks like a pattern of mistakes
If we pursued the career we really wanted, we would have no excuses. No excuses.
But we’ve failed at so many attempts in the past, made up excuses, and tried something else.
What if we look at this pattern from a different perspective?
The mistakes of the past were honest mistakes made while in a learning mode.
Yet, mistake-making and excuse-making developed into a habit we are now stuck with.
This is not learning!
We’re so used to screwing up, embarrassing ourselves, and ducking out that we take less and less risks with everything we do.
Yet now, when we have learned quite a lot from all of our past disasters, we’re actually highly qualified to successfully handle opportunities that used to loom as big risks.
We are probably more qualified than ever to succeed at whatever we want.
From here, we need not be afraid to apply our knowledge and experience to really go for what interests us.
If we were to apply everything we’ve ever learned through our mistakes (as well as our successes),
we would in all likelihood become more successful the next time.
This not only applies to our careers, but to everyday decisions we make for or against building our businesses.
Think about it.
Where can you convert a previously hobbling memory of a mistake to forward some action you must take now?
How can you have any fun?
A seminar leader once asked me, “Why are you here?” I responded, “I want to have fun.”
I’d been working my butt off for a long time and wanted to finally enjoy myself.
The leader responded, “What are you good at?” I said, “You don’t understand, I just want to have fun.”
They said, “No, you don’t understand. What are you good at?”
(What does being good at anything have to do with having fun?
I wondered then.) As I heard myself, it occurred to me that they had a point.
If only I mastered something, then I could really enjoy myself. Hmmm.
Growing up, I was never really encouraged to be good at just one thing.
I needed to become ‘well-rounded’—I needed to be good at a lot of things.
Like a jack-of-all-trades but master of none.
Anytime I wasn’t good at something I had to practice at becoming better in an area where I was weak.
(I’m sure you’ll agree that practicing to improve a weakness is not always fun.)
That was a good start at first, but when the learning curve got steep—the part where mastery of many different areas of an activity became necessary,
I would get “bored.”
(Yeah, that was it. Bored. Or was it lazy?)
Avoiding the work it took to really master something, I would go off looking elsewhere for something that came easy to me.
Unfortunately, things that seem to come easy initially are often rarely valuable to develop if you want to build yourself into a wealthy and world famous expert.
It seems in our society, that we’re not taught to emphasize what we can be good at and continually build on it.
Too many people learn to become ‘good enough’ to get by at what seems to come easy.
Besides, you shouldn’t have to work at something that you’re good at.
Staying with what you’re ‘good enough’ at can be a fatal distraction that keeps you from mastering what you really want to do,
and doing the real work to become who you want to be.
How to turn this around to work for you
As we’re exposed to many things, we learn to do many things, and we become half-baked at many things.
When you hire someone for a project, you want an expert.
You look for the person who’s the best in that area.
If you are the one being hired for this job and you are a jack-of-all-trades (and a master of none),
you are not going to stand out or command the big bucks. I advocate the value of developing expertise.
Yet it takes a lot of time and practice to develop expertise.
If we have a few upsets or can’t get immediate gratification, we often give up.
Why? A couple of things are working against us.
Our culture promotes the fantasy that if you drink the right beer, drive the right car, wear the right clothes, etc., you’re going to have anything you want.
I don’t often see anywhere in our culture where we’re taught to master something to achieve a similar result except in the books written by people who’ve done exactly that and became very successful as a result.
On the other hand, we occasionally see people who seem to enjoy extraordinary circumstances from birth.
Many Olympic athletes can thank their parents for dragging them to practice every day since they were six.
(We don’t often see this part—the 10-15 years of torturous practice—we’re just amazed to watch the masters perform.)
So, if the right acquisitions and the right circumstances haven’t given you the right stuff, you’re really on your own to
figure out what it is you want to do and then work hard enough to get really good at it. It seems like you’re working against all the odds.
But when you overcome them, you will enjoy your accomplishments, your job, and the money that comes from being in demand.
Is there a workable shortcut?
I found one that worked for me.
It starts with looking at things that you’re naturally inclined to do and that you’re interested in.
Perhaps you already have been training like an Olympic athlete.
Before all this came to me, I had been berating myself that I was 29 and still not rich.
I used to wonder why I hadn’t gotten lucky yet.
I knew I probably wasn’t going to win the lottery.
But why wasn’t my ship coming in?
Why wasn’t I at the top of some big corporation?
Then I learned something very enlightening from a workshop.
Part of my reason for taking the workshop was to unlock the reason why I hadn’t found the job I was looking for.
It also unhooked my addiction to get-rich-quick schemes.
We were asked to list all the jobs we had ever had.
I even included the time I cleaned the house for my mom and got paid for it.
I included odd jobs in high school, in college, and during summers.
I just brainstormed every job I ever had. I’d had a lot of jobs.
What I didn’t realize was that there was a pattern.
Before I continue with my results as the example to make my point, quickly do this process for yourself.
I promise you it will be worth it.
Grab a Pen or Pencil and Do this Brief Exercise
In the first column below, list all the jobs you’ve had.
In the second column, look at each job and consider why you took it.
In the third column, did you get enough of whatever you put in the second column?
In the fourth column you can add a note as to why or why you didn’t achieve your purpose for the job.
(This works best if you complete each column before going on to the next column.)
Job
Mow the lawn
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Why You Took the Job
Money
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Did You Get That?
No
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Why Or Why Not?
Not enough $$$
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For myself, I looked at the first job and said, “Well, I really wanted the money.”
I looked at job number two and realized it was for the money.
Going through the whole list, the reason I had taken every single job was money!
In column C, the question was “Looking at column B, did you get enough of whatever you put in column B?”
Did I get enough money?
No, no, no, and no….
I had never made enough money at any job I ever had.
I was amazed to see this all together in one place on one page, like what I might expect
to see from a survey of the demographics of my customers.
I could see a certain pattern.
I had never done a mental database report on myself and my behavior.
Column D asked, “How did you feel about it?”
I assure you that I felt lousy about each of those.
What’s wrong with this picture?
I had never made enough money and I didn’t have any fun.
I didn’t like what I saw. I at least wanted to start enjoying my life.
I thought, “Well, I’m not making enough money doing what I’m doing right now anyway.
What if I just start doing a job that I really like?”
I enjoyed writing sales letters and brochures.
As a salesperson, I felt I could write great brochures that would help me in my own sales.
I was always putting together mailing pieces and I really felt it would be a lot of fun.
It’s something I could do with a vengeance.
I could really be an evangelist for that kind of thing.
So, I started my business developing sales materials: Tools For Sales.
I didn’t know where the money was going to come from.
I didn’t know who my clients were going to be.
First, I made myself some business cards.
Second, I called everyone I knew and asked them if they knew someone who needed new sales literature or had some ugly brochures that needed fixing.
I took anything.
It’s amazing how, when you are really into it, you can create and find projects. I
could see a lot of places where I could help and offered to do the work.
Pretty soon, I had projects coming out of my ears! And guess what?
For the first time in my life, I was making more money than I ever had.
What Are You Good At?
The following simple exercise will assist you to develop a personal mission statement.
It works best if you follow your stream of consciousness and write down whatever comes to mind.
Some things may seem embarrassing to write down, but writing them down will get them out of the way for your next thought,
which may be the one you’re looking for.
Read each question carefully and write down whatever comes to mind.
(Use a full size sheet of paper, and again, this works best if you complete each column before going on to the next one.)
So, here goes…
What Do You Love About You?
sense of humor
my ears
attractiveness to others
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What Are You Really Good At?
interior design
cooking
brushing my teeth
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What Would You Do With People
(If all were right with the world.)?
design houses
throw parties
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Next, circle your two most important items on each list.
Then, using those six items, make a sentence that describes what you are all about.
Using the 6 examples above, It might go something like this:
“With my sense of humor and attractiveness to others,
I use my interior design skills and cooking talents to
design homes where people can throw wild parties.”
Your Personal Mission Statement
In my case…
With my ability to see what’s needed to make something or a situation successful and using my understanding of technology, I apply combinations of technology and modern thinking into useful tools people can profit from.
Try it for yourself!
With my ____________________________ and __________________________________,
I use my ____________________________and_______________________________ skills
To ________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Marsha Sinetar wrote a book called Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.4
It’s true, but when you’re so tangled up in needing to make money, it’s really hard to allow yourself to do what you love so the money can follow.
You may need to hear this a thousand times for it to be fully absorbed in your mind.
Then you can go ahead, believe it, and take action. If this is the 433rd time you’ve heard this, you’re one step closer.
Nike has the answer: “Just do it.” If you don’t, you’ll never know.
So what if you blow it? Who’s watching anyway?
You can always make an excuse and move on. Incorporate what you learned and try something again in the future.
Sooner or later the balance will tip.
Doing things right will outweigh doing things wrong and you’ll become successful.
(In fact, many companies are successful because they simply make fewer mistakes than their competitors!)
Besides helping you clearly define your career perhaps you’ll also better understand and appreciate the kind of people you’ll need to hire to do the things you aren’t good at, hate, or won’t do… but need doing anyway.
This makes it much easier to allow them do what they do best while enabling yourself to do what you do best.
Business Black Belt Take Aways
- You know what you really want to do.
- Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to make money doing it.
- Combine what you love about yourself, what you are good at, and what you would do for people into a comprehensive statement of purpose, a personal mission statement.
3 I first did this process with Michael and Christina Naumer of the Relationships Research Institute in Santa Rosa, California.
4 Sinetar, Marsha. Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow. New York, Paulist Press, 1986.
